Coping with Cancer at Christmas

Christmas is supposed to be a time for joy and celebration. But if you have cancer, it can also be incredibly difficult. It can be lonely, stressful and confusing. You may have symptoms or side effects to manage, or you may be facing the loss of someone close to you or uncertainty about your future, all while trying to put on a brave face for others around you. But there are some things you can do to make Christmas a little easier on yourself this year.

Find Out Your Options

If you’re on treatment, it’s important to remember that a lot of clinics and services will shut down over the holidays. So before that happens, speak to your care team and find out who you should call if you feel unwell or if something changes, and get their contact details. Next, check any medications or equipment you need – like tablets, oxygen, dressings etc – and make sure you have enough to get you through the festive period.

Make Lists

If you’re struggling with chemo brain, we know it can be difficult to remember all the things you need to do in a normal day, let alone at the busiest time of year. Making lists and writing post it notes can be really useful, helping you stay organised and stress free. Make

sure to cross items off the list when they’re done, and don’t forget to delegate if you need to! The people around you will be more than happy to help.

Food

A lot of Christmas food can be very rich – usually lovely, but if you’re undergoing treatment, you might not feel up to eating it! Have a quiet word with your host in advance so that they know what the situation is, and to avoid any embarrassment or hurt feelings at the dinner table. Ask for a smaller portion if you need one, and let them know about any dietary restrictions, difficulties with eating, or if your food needs to be made a certain consistency. If you suffer from nausea, you might need to take your anti-sickness medication to fit around mealtimes to help you cope with the rich food.

Managing Pain

Cancer often means pain in all sorts of places. It can come and go without warning, or it can be a constant presence. If you’re undergoing treatment, that comes with its own aches and pains too. With the change in routine around the holidays it can be difficult to remember to take any painkillers you’re supposed to take. Set yourself alarms to remind you to take it. If you’re worried about overenthusiastic hugs and leaps from young children or pets during the celebrations, a cushion on your lap can be a great deterrent.

Balance Activity With Rest

Cancer is a tiring journey, and many people need to rest a lot more than they did before. Let your host or guests know in advance that you may need to rest throughout the day/days, and that you need somewhere to sit at all times. If you’re away from home, arrange for a quiet space to retreat to if you need it. We know Christmas is a demanding time, but try to avoid overdoing it. If you have a busy day planned, make sure there’s some quiet time in there too.

Accept Help if You Can

When you’re used to doing things for yourself, it can be really tough to let go and let other people help you. But at times like these, you need it. Try your best to accept offers of help, and ask for help where you can.

Along with that – make sure you tell people how you’re feeling. A lot of your symptoms might not be visible, which means the people around you may not be aware of how you’re feeling. Talk to the people around you about how you’re feeling and what support you might need. And make plans that would allow you to sit out or lie down for a while if you don’t feel up to joining in.

Plan Your Responses to Difficult Conversations

If you’re seeing people that you haven’t seen for a while, it can bring up a lot of questions and conversation topics that you might be uncomfortable with. You might have had them all before, or just not feel like you want to answer. That is a totally OK thing to feel! Try preparing a few ‘stock’ answers for those kinds of questions – it can help you feel more confident in managing for the conversation.

For example, if someone asks you how you are, but you don’t want to go into depth about how you’re feeling, you could say:

‘I haven’t felt so well lately, but I’m going to try to forget about it for today.’ Or ‘Thank you, it’s kind of you to ask. I’ve been finding things difficult, but today is a day to focus on family. How are you?’

Let The Pressure Go

There can be a lot of pressure on Christmas as it is, let alone if you’re dealing with the worries of cancer. We’ve spoken to people who say they feel more pressure to make Christmas extra special, or to do what others expect or want you to do even if you don’t feel up to it. But it’s important to let those expectations go. Be honest with other people and yourself about what you can manage. Christmas might look a little different this year, but ultimately, it’s about spending time with the people you love. Focus on that, and Christmas will be just as magical as every other year.

Helplines Over Christmas

We know that a lot of resources shut down over Christmas as everyone takes time off, but 2 weeks can be a long time to go without support. But the good news is, there are still people out there who can help:

The Samaritans: You can call the Samaritans for free 24.7, including Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day. Just call 116 123.
CALM: The Campaign Against Living Miserably will support anybody who needs them. Their helpline is open 5pm- midnight, 365 days a year. Just call 0800 58 58 58.
Shout: Shout 85258 is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone that’s struggling to cope. Conversations are had by text, rather than by phone, which can be useful for those who don’t want to speak. Text 85258.
NHS 111: If you feel unwell (but it’s not an emergency), the NHS are still there to help. If you have an urgent concern, they can help you access specialist mental health support. Just call 111.
The Silver Line: A free and confidential helpline for older people providing information, friendship and advice. They’re open 24 hours a day, including Christmas Day. Call 0800 4 70 80 90.
SANEline: A national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental health problems including family, friends and carers. Telephone: 0300 304 7000.

From all of us at Jill’s Fundraising Journey, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If you need any support, you know where we are.